Home, a place everyone should feel safe
everyone can run to
Not for me
But I guess I'm just troubled
Sometimes I don't even recognise myself
Sometimes the lights go off, and nothing I do or say can bring them back
The darkness becomes me
You think you've found yourself in something that shields the pain,
something that your sorrows can drown in
Have you ever been so lost that not even you can find yourself
Trapped inside a mind that doesn't belong
inside a body that isn't yours to keep
Falling with each step forward
feel numb with each step back
I sometimes forget the person I was, the person I'm designed to be
Aching souls wander around me and I know they see me for what I am,
one of them
But still I run back to these people
Run back to the things that make me weak, make me sick
But anything is better than being alone
Anything is better than the life I had
Even if now I'm just a pawn in their game,
a piece of the puzzle that no one needs
Trying to break the chains, claw down the walls
but nothing, nothing breaks them down
Strangers after strangers, they don't even know my name
My story, why I'm fallen
It's hard feeling loved
when there is no embrace, no words spoken
I see it in these people
They love me, even if its just for a second
even if they buy my affection, it feels like the reward is mine to gain
Paralysed by fear of being alone
Addicted to things that snatch away my halo
Sinking deeper into the arms of the devil himself
Thinking nobody will ever find me, ever want me
No one will be my saviour and allow the light to come through the cracks of my beating heart
Someone once told me even the fallen can be saved. I'm not sure I believe them
I've heard it all
you're nothing
you're broken
it stays with me like a lost soul
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